Tag Archives for " Fear of rejection "

Kristy Ellington, Donald Kelly, The Sales Evangelist Podcast, understanding and managing fear

TSE 1020: TSE Certified Sales Training Program – “Understanding & Managing Fear”

Kristy Ellington, understanding and managing fearIf we allow it to, fear can hold us back and dominate our lives, but if we focus instead on understanding and managing fear, we can identify the source of our fear and we can improve our own performance.

Kristy Ellington shares today why she believes that being fearless is a myth, and how she overcame years-old fears to unlock improved performance in her own job.


Being fearless is a myth because the truth is that everyone experiences fear. Fear doesn’t simply infect one section of our lives, but rather every part.

We get caught up in our thoughts and emotions, and fear keeps us from doing the things we want or need to do to get to the next level. Fear causes us to focus inward instead of focusing on the client, which is really detrimental in sales.

As sellers, we want to focus on our clients and how we can connect with them, but fear keeps us focused on how they perceive us, and whether they are judging us, and how we look to them.

Fight or flight

Fear triggers our natural fight-or-flight instinct, which diverts resources from our brains into our arms, legs, heart, and lungs.

It slows down our thinking so that we can’t fully analyze situations and we can’t think critically. We have no available judgment and we can’t find creative solutions because we’re afraid.

Fear hinders us in a variety of ways, but realistically it’s all in our heads and it’s all connected back to some unidentified source of fear that we have to address.

Take action

For sellers, the need to overcome fear is real, and they don’t have a lot of time to do it. They have quotas to meet and they have to pick up the phone.

Understand your trigger. If you’re afraid of picking up the phone, unpack that fear. It’s often the fear of judgment or the fear of rejection or not being professional or expert enough. You fear going off-script and looking or sounding stupid.

Use this five-step process before any big presentation or conversation:

  1. Notice. Recognize the problem. Admit when you’re afraid.
  2. Aware. Be aware of where the problem is: tightness in your throat or butterflies in your stomach.
  3. Make. Make the connection. Where did you first feel this problem? What’s the source? A bad public speaking experience?
  4. Evaluate. Is this real right now? You have no reason to believe that anyone will make fun of you, so your own thoughts are causing the fear. It isn’t real.
  5. Shift. Once you understand that your fear isn’t real, you can shift your focus back to your client.

Worst-case scenario

If you have any kind of fear, it’s always valid to determine the worst-case scenario.

If you fear elevators because you fear getting stuck and being claustrophobic, ask yourself if it’s real. Is it true that you really won’t be able to breathe in the elevator?

Is it true that the elevator is going to fall while you’re in it? That’s likely something you saw in a scary movie once.

Fear is false evidence appearing real.

Imposter Syndrome

Imposter Syndrome is huge for many people, and it prevents you from asking questions for fear that you’ll look stupid. It can prevent you from understanding the buying decision or the challenges that your customers are facing.

People also fear saying “no” to clients who aren’t the best fit for fear of what might happen. They fear failure and what failure might lead to. Maybe you don’t get the promotion or you don’t make enough commission to pay your bills.

As a result, you end up with the worst clients on earth because you bent over backward for clients that really weren’t worth the effort.

Eliminating fear

It’s probably not really realistic to think that someday you’ll be fearless. No matter what level you are in life, you’ll experience fear.

The fears for a sales development rep will be different for that of a CRO. You’ll always experience fear somehow. If you don’t experience fear somehow, you’re probably not moving forward.

You should be feeling fear. It’s a biological response. You can’t crush it or eliminate it. You must learn to manage it.

When you do, you can move forward and take inspired action that’s thoughtful and clear instead of action that’s chaotic and desperate.

Fear is really just there to protect us and keep us safe. Your brain is working to protect you from bad things that happened in the past. Our fears now are social in nature, but they manifest in the same way that physical threats did generations ago.

We don’t have to spend so much time being afraid of fear.

Leadership fears

Leaders are just as afraid of looking stupid as the rest of us, just on a different level. They inadvertently create a culture of fear because they are operating from fear.

The stressors are different because they have more responsibility.

As you address fears, it becomes easier to manage them.

“That which we consistently do becomes easier, not because the nature of the thing changes but our ability changes.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Fear into confidence

It’s possible to turn fear into confidence.

You have to be comfortable with emotion because it’s an important part of sales. Empathy is an important part of the work sellers do.

If you’re running from emotion, it will make your job much tougher. Embrace emotion. Embrace fear. Start to learn what that looks like.

“Understanding & Managing Fear” episode resources

You can connect with Kristy on LinkedIn, Twitter, or on her website KristyEllington.com

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This episode is brought to you in part by prospect.io, a powerful sales automation platform that allows you to build highly personalized, cold email campaigns. To learn more, go to prospect.io/tse. It will help you with your outbound to expand your outreach. It allows you to set it and forget it. Your prospecting will never ever be the same.

Prospect.io is offering three months at half-price.

Previously known as TSE Hustler’s League, our TSE Certified Sales Program offers modules that you can engage on your own schedule as well as opportunities to engage with other sellers in other industries.

This episode is brought to you in part by mailtag.io, a Chrome browser extension for Gmail that allows you to track and schedule your emails. It’s super easy, it’s helpful, and I recommend that you try it out. You’ll receive real-time alerts anyone opens an email or clicks a link.

Mailtag.io will give you half-off your subscription for life when you use the Promo Code: Donald at check out.

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Donald Kelly, The Sales Evangelist Podcast, TSE Hustler's League, Fear of Rejection

TSE 335: TSE Hustler’s League-“Rejection and Upselling”

Donald Kelly, The Sales Evangelist Podcast, TSE Hustler's League, Fear of Rejection Today, I’ve pulled out yet another snippet from one of our training sessions over at TSE Hustler’s League so that you too might be able to benefit from these. In this clip, we talk about overcoming the fear of rejection and the concept of upselling, which are two essential factors in any salesperson’s success.

Here are the highlights of today’s episode:

Overcoming the Fear of Rejection

Fear is a limiting belief that actually prevents you from taking action and living your experience. C’mon now, what is the worst thing that can happen when you’re trying to sell your product or service to somebody? It’s just getting a “no.” Besides, you can’t lose something you never had. You can’t hide. Face your fears and just tackle them.

Asking for More

Don’t be scared to ask for more sales. There is nothing wrong with asking, “Is there anything else?” because it always does work. As you’re meeting with your prospects, bring out an unconsidered need that they weren’t thinking about. Be sure to ask if there’s something else that they may have trouble with because you just might have the solution for it. The great thing about upselling is you gain more money with less people.


Episode Resources:

Adversaries into Allies by Bob Burg

Get a free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial at audibletrial.com/tse with over 180,000 titles to choose from for your iPhone, Android, Kindle or mp3 player.

Salespeople, Heather Havenwood, The Sales Evangelist, Fear of Sales, Fear of Failure, Donald Kelly

TSE 257: “I LOVE SALES!” The Power of The Sales World With Heather Havenwood

Salespeople, Heather Havenwood, The Sales Evangelist, Fear of Sales, Fear of Failure Today’s episode is oozing with insights and great value that you can definitely apply into your sales process or business. Heather Havenwood is the CEO of Havenwood Worldwide and the Chief Sexy Boss, 100% unemployable entrepreneur and salesperson.

She began her career in corporate sales and is now a coach helping other people move with their transitions in business as well as grow their businesses.

With Heather’s sense of humor topped with a ton of sales insights, definitely makes this interview a super fun episode that you shouldn’t miss to listen.

Here are the highlights of my conversation with Heather:

Sales as a transition of time:

  • When you’re selling, you’re transitioning people from the old to the new.
  • You basically tell people to let go of the old and take on something new.
  • As a salesperson, you really are a transition of time.

Treat failure as part of your success.

  • Heather admits to have failed more than she has succeeded and that’s exactly the reason she’s here today.
  • As a salesperson or entrepreneur, you have to be willing to fail. The biggest piece of success is failure.
  • Being in sports is the best way to learn that success only comes through failure.
  • It’s not what you did wrong but if there’s something you could change, alter, or add in the recipe, that would make a difference next time.

Sell yourself in a new way.

  • Sell yourself as a leader and as an entrepreneur to your vendor, to your clients, to your team.
  • Be constantly selling and improving.

Create your own sales letter.

  • Being able to create your own sales letter is the key in any business.
  • Sell through the power of words.
  • Part of sales is to say “what’s already in the customer’s mind” so you speak in their language

Be a bridge.

  • Salespeople bridge from our fear or lack of knowledge to moving towards something to get results.
  • When you’re presenting, say their “fear” out loud because they’re already thinking it.
  • Address the current conversation that’s already in their mind.

Behavior never lies.

Our behavior of buying has not changed. What’s changed is what we buy as well as the medium at which we buy. Why we buy has not changed and will never change.

Learn how to sell.

Entrepreneurship is the ability to sell one’s ideas to the consumers and/or investors to the world.

Communicate your idea such that:

  1. A consumer is purchasing the product
  2. An investor is interested in putting his money into the business to grow

Heather’s Major Takeaway:

Choose to sell. Don’t be afraid to ask for money. You’re probably selling the same product or service as others do but you can only be successful if you make that choice to sell.

Episode Resources:

Get a free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial at audibletrial.com/tse with over 180,000 titles to choose from for your iPhone, Android, Kindle or mp3 player.


The Sales Evangelist, Donald Kelly, Donald C. Kelly

Call Reluctance; Cold Calling; Donald Kelly; The Sales Evangelist

TSE 143: Top 4 Reasons Why I Had Call Reluctance

Call Reluctance; Cold Calling; Donald Kelly; The Sales Evangelist

We all know what call reluctance is, right? It’s the inability to pick up the phone and make a phone call or just simply start working. Maybe this sounds familiar. You get into work at 8:00am and start dragging your feet. You know you should get on the phones and start making calls, but you start doing everything else to “prepare”, “settle in”, or “get comfortable”. The next thing you know it’s been two hours and you still haven’t made your first call. Sounds familiar huh?
Well, in this episode, I will share with you some of the personal main reasons for my call reluctance. Different individuals may have different reasons, but all around the principles are similar. For some reason we are not getting on the phone when we need to. Here are the main points I found:
1. Pure Laziness
2. Fear of Rejection 
3. Lack of Confidence in the Product or Company 
4. Did Not Know What to Do
Take Action
As salespeople, we may all face call reluctance at some point in our career. The key is to understand why you are having them and discover ways to overcome them. The faster you can do this, the more successful you will be in the end; I promise. If you have other factors holding you back from prospecting and making calls, let me know. I want learn what others are up against. Send me an email at Donald@thesalesevangelsit.com. As always, I want you to see a difference and find success. I want you to go out and do BIG THINGS!
The Sales Evangelizers, Donald Kelly, Sales Facebook Group


Fear of Rejection, Donald Kelly, Angel Denker, Podcast

TSE 134: The Surest Way to Overcome Your Fear of Rejection

Fear of Rejection, Donald Kelly. The Sales Evangelist, Angel Denker “In sales, we’re going to hear that “no” word and we’re going to hear it a lot.  We have to understand that “no” is not to us – the person; it’s to our product or service.” – Angel

Taking rejection is not easy! But what do you do? You will always have to face rejection at certain points in your life and you just have to learn how to deal with it if you want to succeed in sales.

In today’s great episode, we’re hearing from Angel as we talk about overcoming rejection. Angel was a proponent in helping me get training when I first started off; early in my selling career. Angel and her company gave us above and beyond training.

Here are the highlights of my conversation with Angel:

How to Overcome Your Fear of Rejection:

  1. Be able to take that “NO” and just move on.

“No” may just actually mean:

  • “Not now”
  • “I’m just busy today. I don’t have time to listen.”
  • “I don’t have the money right now. We don’t have budget.”

“You have to be able to take that “no” and just move on. That’s what really separates the average salesperson from being the best salesperson.” – Angel

  1. See things differently and stay positive enough to make your next call.

Some people can’t handle that they can get adversity. Their persistence goes away and they stop doing the behaviors they need to do to be successful.

The worst thing is when you think you know a lot and then you ask a question and the prospect says it’s not pertinent information. When that happens – Just dive in!

“People are humans and human nature is what is going to make us better salespeople – understanding human interaction.” – Angel

  • Eat positive food everyday.
  • Train your mind.
  • Learn about this idea of rejection, which starts in your childhood, and how it can affect you. How did you take those “no’s” as a kid?

The I.R. (Identity Role) Theory:

Parent, Adult, Child philosophy: I’m OK, You’re OK by Thomas Harris – the platform for transactional analysis

The attitudes and beliefs of a salesperson are an integral component in their success


What makes you, YOU: your self-esteem, how you view life, self-image, self-awareness, and self-talk. Our Identity needs to be strong for us to be effective


  • Roles change: wife, daughter, wife, golfer, etc.
  • You perform your roles in a different way depending on your circumstances.
  • Your performance and your roles are changing

How to practice this:

  • Get your head in the right place; otherwise, you start to make excuses for how to perform in your role
  • Learn through listening and watching really good salespeople (reading books, CD’s, webinars, seminars) or just writing with somebody out in the field who’s a good salesperson

“Salespeople that are good, reward themselves.” – Angel

Should you take it personal when you get rejected?

It’s not taking it personal but you’re just in the learning stage.

Taking it personal will kill you in sales. Instead, determine:

  • What lesson you learned from that call?
  • What should you try differently next time so that wouldn’t be the reaction you get?

How long will it take to reach that level of confidence?

If you don’t have a hard time thinking you’re an “Identity 10,” then it’s going to be quicker. If you always look at the negative side, it’s going to take longer.

It’s up to you on how quickly you want to accept that you’re going to hear “no” and just move on.

Angel’s Major Takeaway:

“Make a list of every negative thought that is in your head and put it on a sheet of paper. Take that piece of paper, rip it up into little pieces, light it on fire and bury it. Then you can start.”

“When you go out today, remember you’re a 10! When you were born, somebody was ecstatic and happy about you and you made their world. You changed somebody’s world on your birthday and you’re awesome! You’re in sales and sales is fun! It’s the only job you can give yourself a raise everyday. Enjoy what you do. Go out and have fun with it! Make big money and don’t let anybody put your identity down.”

Connect with Angel through angeldenker@gmail.com or reach her through her phone number 954-675-3790.