Being Authentic Archives - The Sales Evangelist

Category Archives for Being Authentic

Coffee Shop Meeting, Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, The Sales Evangelist

TSE 882: The Coffee Shop “Meeting Trap”

Coffee Shop Meeting, Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, The Sales Evangelist

Imagine being invited to coffee by someone who wants to hear more about what you’re doing. You arrive at the coffee shop, spot him, wave him over, and buy him a drink. After 30 seconds of talking about your project, he launches into a sales pitch. You realize you’ve been snared in the coffee shop meeting trap.

On today’s episode of The Sales Evangelist, we discuss the negative consequences of misleading sales methods, and why the coffee shop meeting trap may hurt you more than it helps.

It happened to me a lot when I was a new seller, and I quickly discovered that I disliked it. We’re going to address why you shouldn’t do it.

You’ll be perceived as dishonest.

This kind of activity amounts to bait-and-switch. If I show up to meet with you about my podcast, but you turn it into a sales pitch, it makes you seem untrustworthy.

Because buyers are more prepared, they do their research before they connect with people. If you develop a reputation for this kind of behavior, people will begin to sniff it out and they’ll avoid meeting with you altogether.

Even if it lands you one successful sale, you’ll likely experience fallout in the future.

You’ll stand out for the wrong reason.

Bait-and-switch isn’t a new concept. People are aware of it and they’ll recognize it immediately.

My belief has always been that you should do the opposite of what everyone else is doing if you want to be successful.

You’ll burn bridges.

You should always respect people’s time.

If you mislead me into spending an hour of my day with you, without accounting for the travel time to meet with you, you wasted a portion of my day.

If you mislead me into spending time with you, I’m probably going to make a podcast about you.

There’s a better option.

Your ultimate goal should be to foster a relationship.

Look at the person’s LinkedIn and figure out what business he’s in. Figure out how you can provide value to him. Connect him with a potential customer, or write blog content about his company so that your own audience will learn more about him.

In this case, find a way to provide value to the person you’re hoping to connect with. If you know of someone who might make an ideal customer, research to find out whether you’re right.

Once you’ve discovered that the two are a good match, connect them.

In my case, I might begin with a phone conversation about what the prospect could talk about on a podcast. Once we’ve determined that, I’d invite him to appear on the podcast, which helps him.

Perhaps, as a result of the podcast, he’ll want to do something to help me.

Look for opportunities to collaborate.

Be genuine. Begin with a 5-minute conversation that allows you to get to know the other person. Seek to become friends and build lasting connections.

Do the things you know work: nurture the relationship, connect with the prospect, and bring value first.

If you seek to bring value first, you’ll create more opportunity for a lasting relationship.

We tell you these things because we want you to find more ideal customers, build stronger value, close more deals, and do big things.

“Meeting Trap” episode resources

This episode was brought to you by our friends at Wiley, publishers of the book Stop Selling & Start Leading. It’s a blueprint for sellers based upon years of research about the things buyers hate.

We’re so convinced that you’ll love the book that we’re providing a free excerpt to our listeners here. We also have a free SlideShare available to help you become a sales leader.

Check out The Sales Evangelizers on Facebook, where a community of people shares their struggles and their experiences with selling.

Also check out the Video Jungle podcast, your source for marketing and selling your brand using video. Plan, create and share your way to better content and strategy.

Leave us a review wherever you consume this content, and share it with someone else who might benefit from our message. If you haven’t already done so, subscribe so you won’t miss a single episode.

Audio provided by Free SFX and Bensound.



Authentic Leader, Paula Stafford and Lisa Grimes

TSE 796: What Does It Mean to Become an Authentic Leader and How Do I Do It?

Authentic leaders make themselves vulnerable. They value transparency and they connect with their teams. Authentic leaders understand that they must show up and be present in their leadership roles.

In today’s episode of The Sales Evangelist, we hear from Paula Brown Stafford and Lisa T. Grimes about the importance of authentic leadership. In their book, Remember Who You Are,  they address the trifecta of success, fulfillment, and balance that each of us seeks.

Instead, we should seek to develop a self-awareness and define who we truly are.

  • Authentic leaders are vulnerable. 

Take responsibility when you make mistakes. If you aren’t making mistakes, you likely aren’t pushing the envelope enough.

Connect with your employees. Be human. Be willing to take a chance and put yourself out there. We often try to cover our insecurities instead of owning them. Share your adversity with your team.

  • Authentic leaders are confident.

You will likely be asked to step into a role that feels foreign to you. Maybe you’re asked to be a sales leader despite the fact that others are better at sales.

Confidence develops around risk-taking, failure, and perseverance. When you take risks, fail, and then overcome those failures, you build confidence. Sometimes the person you must prove your abilities to is you.

  • Authentic leaders differentiate themselves.

Find your calling card; something that sets you apart as unique, whether as a sales professional or a leader. Maybe it’s your love of hot sauce that clients remember.

Give people a way to connect with you.

  • Authentic leaders develop self-awareness.

Be honest about your own struggles. If you tend to be defensive in meetings, write the letter “D” on a piece of paper every time you feel defensive. Trace it, rewrite it, decorate it, but don’t stop focusing on that letter until the moment passes in the meeting.

If you’re irritable, make it a letter “I.” Develop self-awareness, and then develop the discipline to address the things you need to fix.

Episode resources:

Learn more about the trifecta and about authentic leadership in Remember Who You Are, available at

“The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly.”


Donald Kelly, The Sales Evangelist, Sales Person, Top Producer

TSE 232: I’m Having A Hard Time Being Authentic.

Donald Kelly, The Sales Evangelist, Sales Person, Top ProducerHow can you “fake it till you make it” but still be authentic? Many sellers have an issue with being themselves while trying to put on a professional sales role. Sometimes they feel they need to act a certain way, dress a certain way or become someone they are not. Well, in this episode I share my feelings on how to maintain authenticity while still being professional. Here are the major points I discussed:

  1. Have Confidence In Yourself 
    • “What others think about you is none of your business”
    • Develop values and beliefs that will become your compass and guide
  2. Be Genuine
    • Your sales role should reflect you as a person
    • Don’t lie as a means of trying to connect with prospects
  3. Master The Art of Being Present
    • People like to be heard (listen before you speak)
    • They like to know they matter by feeling they are being listened to
  4. Ask Questions About Them
    • Ask questions that will engage your listeners
    • Call them by name…this is a simple, but powerful principle

Here is a book I recommend: 

Listen to it here:

be yourself everyone else is already taken mike robbins










The Sales Evangelist, Donald Kelly, Donald C. Kelly